all things bev niner 2.0

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

First Episode!!!!

Hello and welcome to 2.90210, your official guide to watching the CW’s 90210! OMG!!!!!

Our first episode started out with something happening. I missed it because I wasn’t home yet so I don’t know whether the show begins with the “Da-na-na-na nah, da-na-na-na-nuh-na-nuh, na-nuh-nah” theme song.

(I hope it does!!!) (click above for a sample)

Everyone on the show appears to be a ghost.

Also, I don’t know if it was the pacing of the first show or what, but everything just appeared to happen. Like, there was no build-up. That curly-haired girl (Naomi??) was like the stud-dude (Luke??) is hot, let’s do it now and they did it now. And Ethan is like already in love with the Brenda character? I mean WTF? It is only the first episode guys!

That shit can wait. By the second episode characters are going to start dying and returning from the dead already.

Also, Kelly and Brenda are awful. Kelly is less awful, but still, the first time she appeared I thought she was playing “Ghost Kelly” haunting the school. It is weird. Brenda kinda has a fudge face these days. It is like her face melted. I don’t know what causes that.

The principal/dad thing just isn’t going to work. Like, isn’t it so clear that some mean parent is going to be like “I’m going to get you fired, you don’t mess with me, bub-a-lub.” And then we will be supposedly on the edge of our seats about whether he gets fired or not. Pul-eeze.

Also, he doesn’t look older than Naomi, who looks ancient.

Why is the Grandma on the show? She reminds me of ALF.

In summary: Ethan gets the black kid (Dixon) kicked off the lacrosse team. Then he gets him back on, but after the Dixon tells his girl he’s a cheater. Then they both get suspended from the team for a game for doing a prank involving the porno-director-dude’s son. The brenda character breaks up with her Kansas boyfriend and flies to San Francisco with a cute boy from the school play (They are doing ‘Spring Awakening’?). Her mom finds out because of a match-book in her purse (what?) and gets mad. Her nana is an alcoholic and crashes the car. Also, the principal/dad had a baby with someone whom is not his wife 20 years ago.

The End.


expresident said...

I'm glad to see you're finally doing something constructive with your unhealthy "midi file" obsession. I missed this episode, and project that I will miss all future episodes of this program, but good to know I have somewhere I can check for updates.

Chad said...

If you judged the original by the first episode, you'd think that Jim Walsh would be a main character, and everyone would be having plastic surgery. Give it some time...

I like the drunk grandma - I believe she is being played by the same character that played Andrea Zuckerman in the original series.

Also, who when will the Noxema girl be coming back? I like her.

Tom said...

Great idea for a blog!

Nice summary and good point about ALF.

table 4 at the peach pit said...

Dear Chad,
I do believe that the Noxema girl is most certainly dead. I seen it with my own two eyes.

Your Jim Walsh point about the original 90210 is duly noted. Maybe some of the shit they brought up in this episode won't really be the important in the long run (like lacrosse).

Elise said...

Are you seriously hating on the drunk grandma? She was the drunk grandma on "Arrested Development"! She is the best drunk grandma in the world.